I can remember when Pooh first came out to me. I was shaking, nervous, and anxious. My palms were sweaty and I couldn’t look him in the eye. I was surprised and didn’t know what to say. How could my straight best friend of 2 years suddenly tell me that he’s gay? Deep inside I knew that I felt that way because I had a crush on him all this time but knew that nothing could ever come of it because he was straight. It’s a strange feeling to finally come to terms and accept the fact that it could never happen, then suddenly, in an instant, a door opens. A door of opportunity seemed to have magically appeared out of nowhere. The question would seem to be – Do I rush right in before that door suddenly closes? Do I enter with caution? Or do I do nothing?
We were going to Green Tea House when Pooh came out to me. We were in his car and we had just parked when he blurted it out. I told him I didn’t believe him and I didn’t. I thought he was joking. He even asked me to let him borrow some of my porns so he could prove that he was gay. I had a VHS of “Fortune Nookie” with Brandon Lee that I let him borrow a few days later – when I handed it to him I told him he wasn’t going to watch them.
Since I was in shock and couldn’t believe him at the moment, I decided to change the subject. We got out of the car to get some Boba. I had an Almond Milk Tea with green boba. Pooh got his favorite Green Apple and Strawberry slush with green boba. In the back of my mind the thought of Pooh being into guys swirled around and confused me. Was he always gay? Since I was his only gay friend, was it me that made him gay? Why did he come out to me? Is he already talking to someone? How would I feel if he hooked up with a guy…and had a boyfriend?
At the time, I had actually given up on guys and was dating a girl. Yes, a female. When Pooh came out to me he didn’t say that he was into me or anything. He had just simply decided to tell me that he was into guys. For some reason, I was sad. I had always thought of Pooh as being a great guy and great boyfriend material. I always told him how he’d make a girl really happy to have him. Pooh was going out with a girl when we first met and I was able to observe how sweet he was and how incredibly caring he was with her. As I sipped on my Almond Milk Tea, I started to feel a sadness inside. I guess maybe I started to feel a bit jealous. I started thinking that even though there might of be a chance with us, I was already with someone. And then it occurred to me…he won’t be single for long. He’ll find a guy and be that lucky guy’s incredibly caring, incredibly sweet, and incredibly perfect bf.
It would be quite a while before the “Pooh and Tiggah” actually came to be.
Continued in Chapter 2