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Didn’t sleep much last night.  Woke up a couple times before I rolled out of bed at 4 am.  It’s 5am now and I’m in the waiting room at the hospital.  It’s an outpatient surgery so I should be out of here in a couple hours.  There’s something about hospitals and doctors that gives me really high anxiety.  They’re also very depressing.  They remind me of my grandma and the last couple times I saw her before she passed away.  Ugh. I just want to get it over with already. 

Pooh is here with me.  He’s gonna pick up up after my surgery and take care of me while I’m all drugged up lol.  I’m listening to Troye Sivan on Spotify while my Vita charges.  It seems I have a long wait.  They make you get here at 5 am even though my surgery isn’t until 7:30.  -_-…Gonna try to keep my mind distracted with social media, loud music in one ear, and video games.  Wish me luck!



This Friday I’ll be having my surgery to fix my inguinal hernia.  It’s gotten worse since I first had it and they’ll no longer be able to do the procedure laparoscopically; they’ll need to make a large incision directly over the hernia to patch it up.  I’m a little scared. I have a huge anxiety when it comes to Doctor visits and hospitals.  I’m also worried about being put to sleep.  What if I wake up too early?  What if I don’t wake up?  I’m sure it’ll be fine. 

I haven’t been able to sleep much lately.  My insomnia has been getting pretty bad.  Each night I’d have only 2 – 4 hours sleep.  The only way I’d get a decent night’s rest would be after having blacked out from too much to drink.  I know that’s not much better for me either.  

I don’t know what’s wrong with me to be honest.  I guess I just have a lot going on right now and my mind just won’t shut off.  Hopefully having this surgery, having tons of pain meds, and having a bunch of days off to recover will help me get some rest. 

Thanks everyone for the positive vibes and good luck wishes.  It feels nice to know you guys care.

Thank you also for still following my blog.  I love hearing people say “I used to read your blog!”…but I think I love hearing “I love/read your blog!” more.









I know many of you have probably given up on the idea by now…but it will happen!  Lol.  The good thing about my insecurities keeping my alter ego Tigguhh from making many appearances is that I have lots of content (especially videos) from the past 2 years that I’ve never posted.  I’ve just turned 33 and I am not getting any younger.  Since 33 is my lucky and favorite number…guess it’s time.  I’ve recently started doing shows on Chaturbate.  Since I can’t figure out how to do a live stream thing on my website, members will have exclusive access to Private Shows.  Fun!  :)