Last Sunday, January 7th, 2006…
I went to Scripps Green Hospital in La Jolla to visit my grandmother. She has been battling cancer the past 3 years and has recently taken a turn for the worse. Her doctor had informed my family that my grandmother’s condition is so severe that she will not be able to recover and there is nothing else they can do for her except make her as comfortable as possible. I couldn’t hold back the tears when I’d look at my grandmother. There was a moment when I was at her bedside; I was holding her hand…my eyes poured with tears as I watched her smile and look at me. She was so happy to see me and my family. The doctor had told us that her time with us would be sometime between 72 hours to one week…my parents made preparations to get all of our family members from all over to get here to visit and say their final goodbyes…
I returned to work keeping everything boggled in…a smile on the outside…a tortured heart filled with pins on the inside. Tuesday, they transfered my grandmother to a Hospice in Riverside near my uncle’s home. I had work, and Riverside is a bit of a long drive, so I was not able to visit.
Sunday, January 14th, 2006…
My cousin called me this morning…my grandmother passed away. I was speechless. I couldn’t speak nor react. It seemed as if time had stood still. My cousin was explaining what was going on, what had happened, and what our family is now doing to get together. I could hear Samuel Barber’s Adagio for Strings playing softly in my mind as his voice faded into the background. With a trembling voice, I ended the call with my cousin. The strings came to a stop…I looked at Pooh…and began to cry.
It was my day off so Pooh and I drove to Riverside to visit my family. I am very lucky to have Pooh in my life. He is there for me in happiness and in sadness. He is my protection…and my comfort. He’s what makes my life worth living.
I don’t like driving there because it’s not that great of a scenic route…they live in the middle of nowhere.
(such a great view from the freeway….yea…its not so great actually)
Everyone was smiling but you could tell they had been crying earlier because of the look in their eyes. All of my relatives were trying their best to make sure I was ok. When my grandfather had passed away when I was in highschool…I took it very very very badly. I was in a dark place, full of pessimism and depression. It was a very low time in my life that I had even attempted to take my own life. Anyway, that is a completely different post so I’ll move along now.
After watching an upsetting football game, eating lots of Filipino Food, and greeting my relatives…Pooh and I headed home. We went to a nearby shopping center for a couple shots of espresso and then hit the road.
I’d like to say to all my readers….
life is random…it’s full of ups and downs, smiles and tears…but it’s precious. Live your life like every moment might be its last, and always keep your loved ones close to you. Take the time to tell your family, your significant other, and your friends…that you love them. I am very glad I have this blog to record and share random yet precious memories of my life.
I love you Pooh…I don’t know what I’d do without you.
EukolosJanuary 15, 2007
I just recently found your blog and haven’t had the chance to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed reading it already, but for now I just give you my sincere condolences. I hope that these days that follow will, even through the tears, be a precious time of wonderful memories of your grandmother. All the best to you and your family. -Eukolos
MoodyJanuary 15, 2007
My condolences to you and your family.
Dan-sanJanuary 15, 2007
My condolences. I’ll offer up a prayer for your grandmother and your family. Peace be with you Tiggah.
AnonymousJanuary 15, 2007
i’m really sorry for your loss.
it is really touching to see the support you give each other. i hope that someday i may find a pooh for me. take care!
whatifikissyouJanuary 16, 2007
im sorry to hear this. i would understand why your lola smiled when she saw you, she realized that its ok for her to leave you now because she has already seen how strong, smart and affectionate you have become. dont worry, she just left so she could start writing invitations for the Welcome Party shes been wanting to prepare for you in heaven. cheer up, and always remember to look beyond the clouds where your lola is smiling back at you. =)
sicariusJanuary 20, 2007
I’ve been reading your blog this past month or so, and really enjoy it. I am sad to hear of your grandma’s passing, and offer you my condolences. I lost my dad seven years ago, and all my grandparents are gone now, so I know how hard it is. I am glad you have your man Pooh to comfort you. I am a white guy but my bf is filipino and we’ve been together six years. Best of luck to you. P.S. you are both hotties!
dhylecJanuary 22, 2007
my condolescences. i’m sorry for your loss.
you guys are great together. i hope you’re always there for each other.
charleeMarch 18, 2007
hey tiggah… i’m sorry about your grandmother… and me reading about you and pooh just made me hecka cry cuz. Just reading about how pooh is always there for you through the ups and the downs… and how you live everyday as it was your last… just makes you think… well neways, it just touched my heart cuz me n my bf have been fighting lately over stupid stuff, and it made me realize what’s important to me. So thank you;) -charlee